Hello all. If you are still there.
It has been a number of months since my last post, a long absence, but I’m back now.
The updates from other pages have still been coming into my email for all those months and recently I thought about coming back, today’s the day.
A lot has been going on since my last post, some good, some not so, but I suppose I’ll get to that eventually.
My anxiety is not great right now. I thought I managed to get it under control with acupuncture but unfortunately that seemed to be a short term fix only so I’ll try my rambling therapy again and hopefully it will help.
As long as I try I’m at least doing something.
The Daily Post
This is one of the views I get on my favourite walking route near my home. It’s very much my sanctuary. I tend to go early in the morning, when I know there won’t be too many people about, so it’s quiet, peaceful, calm, relaxing. I don’t wear earphones to listen to music when I’m walking, I like to hear the silence. I love turning the corner onto this view, I know it’s coming and I start to smile.
In April this year I was told by the doctor that the blinking tic I have is caused by anxiety – nothing I didn’t already know but at least it was no longer a self-diagnosis!
She recommended I try online Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, which I am doing through the MoodGYM site (https://moodgym.anu.edu.au). As the website address suggests it is an Australian site and takes you through a number of exercises to help you contest your warped thoughts, improve self esteem among other things.
When I first logged into MoodGYM, (it’s free by the way) took the initial tests then started working through the first module, I realised just how much of my thoughts/actions/behaviour were anxiety related so it’s really a much bigger problem that I thought! Jeez.
The site takes you through modules on Feelings, Thoughts, Unwarping and De-stressing and it really helps to understand where these feelings and thoughts come from and teaches you how to change your thinking to realise you may be over-reacting or the situation isn’t quite as you originally viewed it to be.
It’s interesting and I wish I’d admitted there was a problem years ago and started it then! I’ve had the blinking tic for 3, possible 4 years. I’ve lost count. I know it started in the April of the year it first appeared and it has gradually gotten worse since then. I remember after the first couple of times, thinking “Oh, I just did that blinking thing again” and it eventually got to the stage where some days my face hurt because I was doing it so much. There is no real build up to it, no pressured feeling that I need to blink hard, so it is difficult to stop. Some days it is worse than others but there’s is often no obvious trigger for the really bad days. I remember in my early years of high school I scrunched my nose for a period of time, probably another tic, but I eventually manage to recognise the sensation that I wanted to do that and stopped it on my own. No such success with the blinking.
The CBT is really helping how my mind words and helping me take control of that, however the blinking is just the same. I’m looking into acupuncture at the moment and I plan to email a place in Glasgow I found, to find out if they think it may help me. Has anyone else tried acupuncture for anxiety? The place I am looking at has an initial consultation of up to 90 minutes. This means I will need to talk. And I don’t like talking. Well I do, but not about my thoughts, feelings and emotions and I worry it is likely to make me cry. However, I really want to try it so I think I need to just bite the bullet and go. It may not work, but at least I have tried something to stop the tic and if it doesn’t work I can look into something new.